ADD Insights, LLC

Success Stories happen when clients commit themselves to changing negative thought and behavior patterns and not giving up! Sometimes this commitment requires stretching our aspirations beyond what we think is possible, and keeping an open mind when examining our beliefs and judgments. Take Jim, for example…

Jim is a mid-level executive who was unsatisfied with his job and constantly on edge at work. No matter how hard he tried, or what strategy he devised, he always seemed to fall short of his employer’s expectations. Although never officially diagnosed, Jim and his wife felt strongly that he had ADHD.

Anticipating an upcoming performance review, Jim was expecting a second, sequential unsatisfactory review and wondered how long it would be before he was fired from his position. Jim’s job history was spotty; he had been informally let go from a number of jobs. The key puzzle for Jim was that he was recognized as a valuable employee and a good performer in the early months of every job, until his performance became secondary to the frustration people experienced when working with him.

Jim showed up for coaching as the result of a last desperate attempt by his wife to get him the help he needed. He was quite discouraged and disheartened about his prospects for the future. The beliefs he held about himself showed an utter lack of self confidence and self worth. Basically, Jim was just trying to survive day to day even though he was spiraling downward emotionally. What would happen to his family if he decided he just couldn’t cut it any more?

Jim spent the next 18 months in a coaching relationship with me. During that time Jim achieved the following insights about himself that he has since acted on successfully:

He had a belief that he “should know” things so he was embarrassed to ask for help. This behavior ensured he would continue to experience the same problems over and over again. Through coaching discussions and targeted conversations with key people in his life, Jim courageously began to build a new and more accurate opinion of his capabilities and was increasingly able to ask for help.

He had a very shallow understanding of his attributes and strengths, limitations and liabilities. As a result, he took few risks and assumed that every negative outcome was his fault. Jim was able to build evidence of his talents, strengths, and shortcomings through a process of conscious observation on a daily basis, including keeping a written log of what happened to gain personal insight and bringing recent authentic experiences to coaching for discussion. As he developed a better understanding of how his old negative beliefs impacted him, Jim was no longer willing to tolerate those old habits that stole fun and happiness from his life.

No one had shown him how to overcome and compensate for those ADHD challenges that he could not get around. Jim felt he was living a life sentence with no hope of parole or pardon. Once Jim understood the physiological causes and resulting behaviors of having ADHD, he stopped the cycle of self blame he had been trapped in for most of his life. He was free; able to live with humor and determination, addressing challenges with his coach in a logical and practical manner

He had a number of disempowering beliefs about himself and his life that ensured he would stay stuck in his present circumstances. Few people or situations had been able to challenge these long held beliefs. Using a model for identifying his identity, values and purpose, Jim was able over time to:

• Continue exploring his disempowering beliefs
• Identify and understand where those beliefs came from
• See them as only one interpretation of events
• Create more positive and empowering beliefs as a result

The model referred to above is a set of procedures for identifying one’s top values, true identity and real purpose in life that challenges the participant to discover and overcome conflicting and disempowering beliefs that are keeping them stuck in recurring harmful behavior patterns.

To avoid the pain in his life, he would spend hours surfing the Internet when it was in his better interest to be on task at work or at home. For most people, this habit is often difficult to break. Although these emotional and mental safety nets serve and protect, they also cause significant dysfunction. Jim began a coaching program of behavior shaping one step at a time and after many months of perseverance, and aided by his coach, he was able to switch his use of the computer from denial and avoidance to fun and functionality.

Today Jim reports that he is happier at work and happier at home than he has ever been. His use of the techniques and tools that he discovered during coaching has allowed him to finally be seen as one of the top performers in his company.

Tags: ADHD, ADHD Coaching, workplace challenges